Monday, November 22, 2010

you watched the world grow over me

you watched the world grow over me
a loose tooth
the haitian girl
the two week stint at wendy's
coming home one sunday and
finding you had left
with everything in the house
except my clothes
and a note that said
i had never really loved you
which might have been true
i was relieved that you
were gone,
i had nowhere to sit but
i did have a good story to tell

you watched the world grow over me
standing on the drag
and watching aliens saunter
down the sidewalk
having put the window pane
in my mouth with my finger and
the AIDS test at the clinic
and the two week wait and
the call from the AIDS study group
that turned out to be a wrong number
and the giddy relief on the ride home
three days later

you watched the world grow over me
watching your light in the building
across from mine at night
for at least a year and
imagining your lovers

you watched the world grow over me
waking up outside the 7-eleven
at six in the morning. the sun coming up
on the ground, wet and swollen

you watched the world grow over me
as i watched slowpoke do wheelies
on the front lawn of his girlfriends house
having woken up in her roomates bed
drinking untold cases of milwaukees best
and laughing and peeing and sitting
and being and swimming in the apt pool
across the street and imagining vampires
living next door
and going to los angeles
and not getting killed by the mafia dudes
and ending up in rehab
and losing my best friend for years
and becoming so busy
and buying so many things
and only waking up every once in a while

you watched the world grow over me
driving your car up the embankment
of the highway in front of the police car
while i sat on the beach in mexico
watching strange monkeys dance in
halo of the ocean
believing in myself
and then not believing in myself
and then believing in you
and then not believing in anything
and then my son being ripped out
of my wife's belly, bloody and screaming
and my heart being torn from my chest
forever leaving nothing there except sadness
mostly and love that can't remain
but burns and then leaves more sadness
and watching the black emptiness
underneath inside me with detached
and utter horror as i am
holding my son's hand
crossing the street
and entering target


Anonymous said...

well, maybe you're not faking it..

Anonymous said...

ouch.. that one hurt

Elvis said...

i regret not picking up a copy of your poetry and artwork while on tour with you and bascom hill.

perhaps the boys can grab a copy for me while they're down there on the 26th with you guys.

thanks for everything - i had a great time and have turned on all of my good friends to your work since i've been back home.

another tour would be great - i'm more than ready to help out if i could! just say the word and i'm there!

peace brother

elvis aron presley sheehan

Anonymous said...

You just changed me with those words.......fuck man. Never has something moved me like that.

Singing Waters said...

That gut wrenching honesty is what keeps me tied to waiting for each word that falls from your heart. Thank you.

Clara Scott said...

Wow. Uncle. Please give us more.

G said...

best. poem. ever. infinitely honest. love ya Bob.

Anonymous said...

read and re-read....funny how one person's pain can soften another hardened heart...sorry I stole your pain for my own healing...thanks for sharing...pretty selfish, huh? only big squeezes for you OOOOooooxoxoxo

s said...

cut to the quick, nicely diced. jesus christ.

Anonymous said...

If I were a quark I would find you and enter your heart so that I could release my energy and make you sunshine forever.

Leslie F. Miller said...

Good. Moving. It's fine if you're pulling our legs. We're pulling yours, sometimes too.

But not now.

Maggie said...

How are we going to come and look at good old' JC? Niss Stacy, (she's the librarian in love with you,comes to most your local shows says that you literally mean jc will play right beside you. or do you mean he is in your heart? im curious. big time. maggie
p.s. fav part of time before last saxon night was "you gotta find something to love" p.s. why did you let me get that book of poetry to my dad "from one bob to another", it is sick! but you are beautiful. hee hee.. . .

Anonymous said...

On wet ground
Bare skin
On magenta moss
Adam lies
Next to blue boa
2 creatures
2 swollen hearts
In lonely land
Of Eden 
Where heaven 
Rained hail
On the day
Eve ran away 
Tonight they gaze
At the yellow moon
Waiting for
The lunar eclipse or
The total eclipse 
Of blemished hearts...
Poem by Maddy_Blue